Sunday, July 22, 2007

turtles absolutely rule

print and sign this pledge if you agree then mail it back to me.

www.coldbacon.com/misc/pledge.pdf

Cold Bacon
159 W. 4TH ST.
APT. 06
NEW YORK NY 10014

i am committed.

15 comments:

kowgurl said...

you don't mention meercats. I can sign it as long as you dont specifically mention meercats.

sugarbat said...

what's the goddamn matter with meercats? Are they the new gay?

Michael-Ann said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHhYpzajyOw
I hear Meercats drink a lot of beer.

I rescued a turtle once and it pissed all over me.
I think turtles drink a lot of beer too.

I don't like beer much at all... wine is good, even cheap wine is better than beer, although Boddingtons is pretty good beer.

Cold Bacon said...

hey do you have rabies?

Michael-Ann said...

why yes, yes i do have rabies...but how did you know? I was diagnosed just this morning... are you psycho or something? wait! OMG! i KNEW it... you ARE my doctor aren't you? shees so much for that whole patient/doctor privacy thing.

dr. coldbacon... kinda catchy.

The Metrosexiest said...

Excuse me, but turtles over dogs? I can't sign this pledge. Dogs can smell cancer on a human's breath with a higher than 90% rate of accuracy. What can turtles do to help mankind?

New topic: what is the manliest domestic animal?

Cold Bacon said...

we will not be changing the subject. dogs are cool. but turtles rule.

sugarbat said...

That's a nice poem!

mike said...

After discovering your blog, I have now realized that my life has been a total sham. I have spent the last decade of my life as a seemingly happy dog owner, but now I see that I was really just trying to fill the void of a turtle-less existence. Unfortunately, my rental agreement limits me to one pet in my residence, so I have had to improvise. Earlier this evening, I grabbed my brand new puppy (she is a Pekingese/Shih tzu mix, or a "Peek-a-shit" for short) and I glued a dinner plate to her back and another one to her stomach, creating a makeshift "shell" of sorts. I have also been giving her heavy doses of horse tranquilizers so that she moves a bit slower...Kind of like a turtle, y'know? Now, I did kind of forget to make leg-holes in the bottom dinner plate, so she is really having a lot of trouble walking. But she sure seems happier. I know I am. Thanks for changing my life for the better.

Cold Bacon said...

yes i have changed your life for the better.

sugarbat said...

Mike: A little bowling alley wax on that bottom plate will make a world of difference, navigationwise, for your little precious. It won't take much of a kick to get her going; you'll see! You're welcome in advance. --SB

Molly said...

what just happened to the tortoise you're crazy because there's no turtles in the southwest

The Metrosexiest said...

What is the manliest turtle? Judges, can we allow it?

sugarbat said...

Molly: There's no turtles in you.

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